


Bonded by Blood, unfortunately

by rapono



Category: Halloween Movies - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Laurie Strudel needs a break, Laurie is done with his shit, Laurie wants him to go away but he wants to bond with her, Michael just wants some mac n cheese, Michael speaks, One-Shot Collection, based on silly discord rps, crackfic, mickle pickle is a big baby, mostly so he can say 'LAAAAAAUUUUUURIE', sibling shinangans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 12:46:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18031994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rapono/pseuds/rapono
Summary: When it comes to family, you can't really pick and choose who you're related to. Pretty inconvient when your older brother is a serial killer, and even worse when he constantly begs you for mac n cheese.A collection of silly Myers sibling shinangan one-shots.





	Bonded by Blood, unfortunately

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, thanks for stumbling into this mess. I can't remember the last time I wrote a crackfic, if ever. 
> 
> Basically all of these little one shots are retellings of silly shinangan rps I did with a good friend of mine. He wanted to see some of these rewritten as a fic, and I'm happy to oblige. 
> 
> EDIT: tbh I've had this first piece done for a long while, but didn't post it due to personal reasons. I recently thought "fuck it" and am posting it now.

Laurie did not know what to expect when Michael approached her, wearing what appeared to be on of those baby harnesses. You know, the kind that strapped babies to a dad's chest, so they could carry them around hands-free. 

This one however, was quite a bit bigger, seemingly adult-sized. Michael didn’t seem to have the intention of carrying an actual baby around, but whatever the reason, it wasn’t likely good. At least he wasn’t carrying his knife.

Obviously unable to read his expression, she decided to ask him about it.

“Michael, what are you doing with tha-"

He promptly picked her up, and attempted to shove her into the harness.

“Michael what the fuck are you doing, put me down!”

“Little sis goes in the baby holder.”

“I’m like 60 years old!”

He brought a finger to her lips, shushing her. She was stunned, looking up at the mask with a mixture of shock, anger, and confusion.

“You’re my baby sister. Baby gets strapped in.”

She wasn't about to let her murderous brother strap her to his chest, regardless of his childish logic. So pulling a glock out of her pocket, she decided she was gonna force him to let her go.

“Michael put me down!”

“No.”

And with that, he managed to shove her feet through the holes.

“Fucking hell!” She fired a round into the ceiling, a warning shot to her brother. “No!”

“Baby can’t have gun. Gun too dangerous.” 

He grabbed her wrist, attempting to wrestle the firearm out of her grip. She refused to let go, her grip on it strong and unwavering.

“Don’t fucking touch my Gun! Fuck off Michael, let go!”

She had been so focused on making sure he didn’t take her gun away, that she didn’t notice she’d been fully strapped in until it was too late. 

“There we go.” He patted her on the head, much let a parent would do to their child. “Baby sis.”

She sat there within it, fuming, the desire to kill him shining clearly in her eyes, hand still gripping her glock. Michael was content, either oblivious to her anger, or simply choosing to ignore it, as he continued to pet her head.

“I hate you.”

“I love you too.”

* * *

The (not myers) family huddled within the household, waiting for Laurie's return. Had Michael gotten to her? 

They waited with baited breath as someone approached the door. As an arm broke through the glass and searched for the locks, they didn’t need to see the rest of the person to know it was Michael.

What they didn’t expect was to see a very pissed off Laurie strapped to his chest.

“H-hey mom, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, it’s just that your uncle here decided he wanted to strap his ‘baby sister' into a baby harness.”

He once again patted her on the head. “Gotta keep her safe and out of trouble.”

“I am going to shoot a lot more holes into you!”


End file.
